Sticking my H1N1 in Ted Turner’s festering gob.

The worst habit I seem to have picked up is the ability to slog though my life, step after step, until I finally reach the weekend. Only then do I collapse into a snotty mess that eats up all my free time.
I mean why, for the love of all that is holy, would I suffer all week at work, stubbornly refusing to admit surrender to pestilence, only to finally roll over and show my belly during my precious time off? Sometimes a work ethic is a horrible thing.
And then there’s H1N1. Look, I feel for those that have lost loved ones to this disease, I am not a heartless monster. I believe however, much like shouting fire in a crowded theater there is a moral responsibility to crying pandemic in a crowded school. We know that children have no immunity to H1N1, and also we must remember that Influenza was a deadly threat even as much as 100 years ago. Much like food poisoning, The reason that it doesn’t kill huge swathes of the population isn’t so much vaccines, doctor visits, or shrill media reports. The reason we survive more often is better general health. I can’t believe that people have lost sight of the basic fact: If you don’t want flu that becomes pneumonia then stay healthy. Eat right, don’t smoke, stay hydrated and so forth, and you will be just fine. Doctor visits are great, but if you’ve read The Key to Damocles, you probably know my feelings on modern Mega-media outlets already. If you haven’t (what’s wrong with you, for God’s sake!) then let me point out:
SARS apparently killed us all off years ago.
Or was it the Bird Flu?
Growing up I remember that AIDs was supposed to depopulate the entire earth by now. In fact, this is a personal grudge, since I grew up during the 80’s and the HIV/AIDs push was more appropriate to a propaganda war and it had adverse effects on relationships as I grew up.
And I think that drumming up of a massive panic under the guise of informing the public makes one a horrible, inhuman hypocrite.
What I am saying is we used to be able to _Trust_ doctors and news outlets. But there’s a lot of time in the day without news (I’m available for interviews, dammit!) and they are naturally going to go with doctors that feed them more news, rather than those who may tell you the truth. Add in the standard fear everyone has of downplaying a crisis and being sued because common sense is in such short supply and you get a self perpetuating storm of suck that teaches our children to be afraid of a stiff breeze.
(WARNING: James Daniel Ross is not a doctor, and has never played one on TV. The above is common sense, and is not meant to be construed as professional medical advice. Professional medical advice must be found from a PhD, or perhaps your local cable news station. Seriously. Kinda. I am dirt poor, really. So poor, in fact, that if you sue me you will wind up owing me money. In short: bugger off.)
In any case, they might not be the biggest bastards a horrible, inhuman hypocrite known to man, but they rank up there. Also NEVER TAKE IMPORTANT ADVICE FROM A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO TERRIFY A WHOLE NATION WHO DON’T BOTHER TO CALCULATE THE LIFT RATION OF HELIUM. Furthermore if they never ask why the inventor would ALSO not do the calculations, then you know someone is embarrassed they took AP English and not rudimentary science trust me when I say there are many people more deserving of our attention, many more people who have done something more than been on wife swap


One thought on “Sticking my H1N1 in Ted Turner’s festering gob.

  1. Man you would have loved the graduate health class I took. Mini-rants like that would sometimes take up the entire class (and get you an “A” to boot!)

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