The ghosts of the past can still cause harm

I’m feeling a little overwrought with the flights to Lunacon and such. That means I have been keeping the news OFF, concentrating instead on my deadlines. The problem is that without the distraction of news stories that infuriate me, or news bias that annoys me (and I have a blog bubbling in my brain against conservative talk radio that’s going to peel paint from the walls), and general stupidity some things are creeping back into my mind I thought I had buried long ago.

I don’t get it. Sometimes I am happy to go onward, without a care, meeting goals, setting more, getting work done. Others I stay up on cold nights and stare up into the sky, thinking about those left behind and friends no longer with us. I suppose that’s normal, really. Just feels like I spent most of my life running from a painful past. High-School was a lot like an artistic boot camp. College was brutal, short, and I actually caused more damage than I think I healed. Not really sure what to do about that, still. I do feel like there are people I need to talk to, a few I need to yell at, and some I need to make amends with if it is at all possible.

Even so, I got new contacts at Lunacon, not to mention twelve more contracts to fill in the next nine months. I got to catch up with Mike McPhail, the head editor of the Defending the Future series of books, esteemed author James Chambers, Danielle Ackley-McPhail – who has a new writer’s workshop online, the always vivacious KT Pinto, by the way – and Rus Colchamiro, the author of Finders Keepers – a cross between Hitchiker’s Guide and any buddy movie you have ever seen… with hilarious results. But for now I’m striving to meet unrealistic deadlines I have (only myself to blame ) that I have set simply to see if I spontaneously develop novel-centric superpowers.

No rest for the wicked.

Well, maybe that’s not true.

This Saturday I’m going to be in LaGrange Ky. giving a Writer’s seminar. This was a spectacular success last year, and I can’t wait to talk to new and returning writers about the business, pitfalls, and what can be done to succeed. It is as much a rest as I think I will ever want.

And an update: For the first time I have netted more than spent on Books in a year. It is a small thing, but it is the first year of profit. It is a step in the right direction.


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