The One Where I Mock A Youtube Video for Terrorists

I found this:

Palestinians release disturbing video how to stab a jew

Which had this video set to especially angsty teen generic metal

And that lead to me being filled with venom and I wrote:

Excerpt from ISIS Getting Your Stab On Manual:

Step #1: Cover your face! You are obviously a terrorist douche stain. This means you have severe issues with all of society and women in general and it probably stems from the fact that you are fugly. Seriously, people are trying to eat, right over there. Cover that shit up, your nose looks like a dogs penis. Wrap the kerchief tight, and make sure none of that shows. Fugly. Seriously.

Step #2: Bathe! see above, except you stink like a pile of manure had sex with a corpse. The great Snackbar does not have a jihad against water, for Christ’s sake. And use soap this time. And would it make Snackbar cry to use a toothbrush?

Step #3: Notice all of these stabs are done to unsuspecting victims. This is CRITICAL. If you attempt to have a fair fight against a Jew, even an old Jewish lady, we will not be responsible if she beats the dog snot out of you and leaves you whimpering on the ground for everyone to see. And it will happen! So, strike like a coward and run away to live to run another day. And the bath thing… really, it is not even a suggestion think of it as a fatwa on your armpits.

Step #4: Use your AK bayonet! Do you think money grows on trees? There is no better stabby thing in the world than your average, unsharpened bayonet. Oh, you think you sharpened it, do you? Just like you cleaned your guns, did your laundry, and ended the prohibition on killing your own body lice? Go sharpen it again, recruit. Not that it matters, trust us.

Step #5 (optional) Now you may be the kind of starry-eyed racist that says to yourself; Self, this looks like bullshit. I will definitely be caught at the first checkpoint and beaten until I can barely catch a goat in order to fulfill my needs. Fear not, goathumper! It turns out you are slightly brighter than the common gitmo-bound rabble we recruit here at camp Ballgown-Nazis. And for that we will disregard this staby training and move directly onto Suicide Vests! Further good news! We are moving into biological warfare, so you do not have to bathe, though you will likely be instructed through gas masks so pay close attention. Report to Camp Little Crater in the morning.

Dismissed.

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