The One Where I Mock A Youtube Video for Terrorists

I found this:

Palestinians release disturbing video how to stab a jew

Which had this video set to especially angsty teen generic metal

And that lead to me being filled with venom and I wrote:

Excerpt from ISIS Getting Your Stab On Manual:

Step #1: Cover your face! You are obviously a terrorist douche stain. This means you have severe issues with all of society and women in general and it probably stems from the fact that you are fugly. Seriously, people are trying to eat, right over there. Cover that shit up, your nose looks like a dogs penis. Wrap the kerchief tight, and make sure none of that shows. Fugly. Seriously.

Step #2: Bathe! see above, except you stink like a pile of manure had sex with a corpse. The great Snackbar does not have a jihad against water, for Christ’s sake. And use soap this time. And would it make Snackbar cry to use a toothbrush?

Step #3: Notice all of these stabs are done to unsuspecting victims. This is CRITICAL. If you attempt to have a fair fight against a Jew, even an old Jewish lady, we will not be responsible if she beats the dog snot out of you and leaves you whimpering on the ground for everyone to see. And it will happen! So, strike like a coward and run away to live to run another day. And the bath thing… really, it is not even a suggestion think of it as a fatwa on your armpits.

Step #4: Use your AK bayonet! Do you think money grows on trees? There is no better stabby thing in the world than your average, unsharpened bayonet. Oh, you think you sharpened it, do you? Just like you cleaned your guns, did your laundry, and ended the prohibition on killing your own body lice? Go sharpen it again, recruit. Not that it matters, trust us.

Step #5 (optional) Now you may be the kind of starry-eyed racist that says to yourself; Self, this looks like bullshit. I will definitely be caught at the first checkpoint and beaten until I can barely catch a goat in order to fulfill my needs. Fear not, goathumper! It turns out you are slightly brighter than the common gitmo-bound rabble we recruit here at camp Ballgown-Nazis. And for that we will disregard this staby training and move directly onto Suicide Vests! Further good news! We are moving into biological warfare, so you do not have to bathe, though you will likely be instructed through gas masks so pay close attention. Report to Camp Little Crater in the morning.


The one that was an update that needed to be posted.

I ran across a youtube video/article that was asking:

What’s more respectful: “Diabetic” or “Person with Diabetes”?

I have that particular ailment and I can say without remorse:

What is more respectful? Dan. My name is Dan. Maybe Jim. James is fine. If you call me Danny, you better be a 5′ nymphet with shocking red hair and an Irish brogue that makes my clothes fall off.

The dude with the eyepatch is not blindy. Dude missing a leg isn’t limpy. I am not Diabetic/Person with Diabetes. I ask no special treatment. I don’t want tax breaks or a free ride. I want to work and keep what I earn.

And you can call me Dan. Danny if you can make my clothes fall off.


The one where criticism is not an attack…

An interesting trend has popped up. It goes along the lines of: “If you criticize, you must fix the problem by joining in, or forever shut the hell up.”

For example:

Don’t like how the military prosecutes a war? Put on a uniform.
Have trouble with police shooting kids? Grab a badge.

And, if not, then well you hate America, apple pie, and various endangered species which we are sure you consume on Sundays with plenty of gravy. But thank you for joining in this civilized discourse, you monster.

To which I think there is only one reply: You want to talk at the big persons table? Learn to think for yourself.
SunTsu (Sun Tsu? Son Tsoo?) Had a thing about “if you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by” Now, all warrior zen bull aside, that’s a great idea. Time heals all wounds and so on; Until you get an enemy that demands tribute, enjoys a little hobby of punching you in the nose, or is trained to overreact to the presence of toy guns. Then your chances of being the face-down floater-in-chief are much higher than his and patience and forbearance is no longer a virtue.
I cannot think of any adverse situation, in any persons life, professional or personal, that can be solved by shrugging and saying “It is what it is”. And that is not hate. It is not lack of support for those that wear camo, wear a badge, or for that matter men who pick up my garbage. If the garbage men were driving those monster trucks unsafely, it would not be anti-garbage to demand they be retrained.
This argument -if you are not one of this group you cannot criticize that group – as earth shakingly stupid as it is, is spouted by people of all political beliefs, ages, and creeds. I feel that many rap songs are vapid, derogatory toward women, and utterly without artistic merit. I am not a rapper, but I feel utterly justified in saying so. I feel that if I pay $8 for a meal, it should be edible. Though I do not work in fast food, I feel I can comment on whether one place makes decent food or not, and spend accordingly. And that last point is closer to the whole point.

The military and police are there to serve at the will of the people. And if you think things are perfect, you are far from correct. If you think criticism shows a lack of support for a lot of fine people who do a hard job, then you are farther from correct to the point of lacking the basic skills to converse in polite society. You should wear a diaper. On your head. It will be our secret little sign that I can ignore you and avoid you on the street.

I pay the wages of the military and the police. What they do they do in my name, and thus I have a responsibility to keep tabs and make sure the things done in my name are right and just. The US vs THEM arguments are false. WE are THEM. THEY are US. In deed, if not reality.

The one where I am part of the problem, I guess…

I just read a update that basically stated


OK, I understand where you are coming from, but holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, when I read that it makes me WANT to piss you off. I want to defend the underdog no matter how slimy and skeezy. And since this was a female teacher having romper room time with a 16 year old guy… I’m sorry I cannot care. If the boy says he was raped, then there is a problem. When he goes to school and brags “Jinkies, fellas, guess who just put it in the German teacher’s pooper?”… this is not a sign that a guy has been raped.

So, I’m part of the problem, I guess. I have discovered an upside: Now I get to bitch that I didn’t get to bang the 22 year old teacher because this is somehow now all my fault in all caps.

Wrong: Yes. Teachers should not have sex with students. Lose her job: Yes. She is unfit for the profession she spent so much time and cash to get the degree for. Jail Time: Please. If he had actually been raped, yes. As it is, he may be a kid, but he is not a child. This was not a toddler, preteen, or moppet.

It’s a problem, yes. A bigger part of the problem is everyone looks at a 16 year old and sees a 6 year old. People have had / are having sex at 16 pretty much as a matter of course throughout human history.

Not me. I am a nerd.I played Dungeons and Dragons. I was a virgin for a long, long time. Which is good. 16 year old guys are not my type.

The one that is short and was typed with fists

I am aghast to see when a public figure, especially an entertainer, makes a joke that isn’t really funny and winds up getting a face full of PC-TNT. You know the kind I’m talking about. Then they grovel, and wheedle about how ‘your cause matters to me and my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillionz of $$$$.’

This especially makes me retch when the global warming entertainivist owns a yacht, a private airplane, and 4 mansions, or the animal rights entertainivist dresses in black urban ninja leather gear for many roles, or when the anti gun entertainivist is only famous for the body counts in movies that rival battles fought in the civil war… anything similar.

And it offends me that there are two groups of equally guilty assholes:
Gruppen 1) The assholes demanding someone pander to them. OR ELSE.
Gruppen 2) The assholes pandering to the other assholes, completely without sincerity, and yet become their champions.

Guess which category this guy falls in to. Oh, and that beard makes you look like a child trick or treating as blackbeard. Jerk.

My solution?

“I’m sorry I offended you. “

Short, simple, to the point, and if they still demand pandering action, throw them out of your personal office window. If not, then just shut up if you fear these cause-mongrels so much. They only nip at your heals because they know you fear their bark.But shying away and begging them you are either an attention whore, or you stand for nothing other than your bank account. Do not expect me to respect either.

And worse, once you are done pandering and making them feel all powerful, they come and nip at the rest of us as well, and are supremely offended when we kick them in the face for biting.